Vigilantes in the Infield

Many years ago, as I recall, the line "Whatever Bernie wants, Bernie Goetz" would intermittently pop into my head, awaiting the opportunity to slip it into conversation. But the chance never came, and I moved on.

Fast-forward to June, 2005. The Yankees trailing the Brewers by one run in the top of the ninth. Bernie Williams on first, nobody out. The hit-and-run is on, but not necessary, because Williams advances on a wild pitch by Nuke LaLoosh-esque Milwaukee closer Derrick Turnbow. For one reason or another, I have the game on with the sound off. And lo and behold, lightning in a bottle:

My understanding is that closed-captioners type everything phonetically, like court reporters, and there's some software that compares their output to a database of words and proper names and picks the most likely match. So I guess everyone's favorite subway gunman was still in the database after all these years.

Even better, the Yankees stranded Bernie, and lost.

[June 27, 2005] [Link]


The End As I Know It: A Novel of Millennial Anxiety, by staggernation.com proprietor Kevin Shay, is now available in paperback.

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