LAW.*

Come, listen to me a minute,
A song, I’m going to begin it,
There’s something serious in it,
So, pray attention draw,
A serious thing I thought it,
Experience, I have bought it,
Will you, or not be taught it,
I sing the charms of Law.
      L—A—W. Law,
It’s met with the deuce of a claw.

Chorus.
If you’re fond of pure vexation,
And a long procrastination,
You’re just in a situation,
To enjoy a suit at law.

When your cause is just beginning,
You only think of winning,
Attornies slyly grinning,
While your cash they draw.
With brief and consultation,
Bill and replication,
Latin and botheration,
While the Counsel loudly jaw,
      J—A—W. Jaw,
Is a very great thing in law

Snail like your cause is creeping,
It hinders you from sleeping.
Attornies only reaping,
While your cash they draw.
      D—R—A—W Draw,
It’s the mainspring of the Law.
Misery, toil, and trouble,
Makes up the hubble bubble,
And leaves you nothing but stubble,
And makes you a man of straw.
      L-A—W. Law.
It divides the wheat from the straw.

When your case is just near ending,
Your case is no wise mending,
Expense each step attending,
And then they find a flaw.
Then the Judge, like any Jackdaw,
Oh, he lays down, what is law,
In a rotten stick your trust is,
And though you don’t get Justice,
You’re sure to get plenty of Law.
      L—A—W. Law.
It leaves you not worth a straw.

So, if life’s all sugar and honey,
And fortune has always been sunny,
And you want to get rid of your money,
I’d advise you to go to law.
Like ice in a rapid thaw,
Your cash will melt awa’,
Comfort, ’tis folly to care for,
Life is a lottery—therefore,
Without a why, or a wherefore,
I’d advise you to go to Law.
      L—A—W. Law,
Oh! ‘twill like a blister draw.

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